Chasing Phantoms
by Snowflake Grey
Summary: A collection of stories centered around Grimmjow and Ichigo. Almost every story has a happy ending. Feel free to make any suggestions.
1. 0,0 General Page

Hello, hello, hello!

You can call me Snowflake. Welcome to Chasing Phantoms.

This is going to be a collection of stories about my two favorite people in the Bleach world, Grimmjow and Ichigo. Requests are welcome!

This is the General Page!

**Warnings**

-Homosexual themes

-Language

-Referrencing drug and alcohol

-Dark Themes

**Questions, Comments**

"I LOVE "My Brother's Keeper"! SO SWEET! XD" - IILesGeMeAuxII

_Why thank you! :D I was a little hesitant about posting it, but I'm glad it turned out well! And I loved your suggestion, I'm going to do it and love it even more!_

"They were both really sweet stories. good job!" – SecretDime

_Thanks for your support! I hope you continue to enjoy them!_

"I love this chapter! I have High-Functioning Autism and I am always glad when  
>someone writes a really good fanfic with autism involved." - aislinn aira<p>

_Wow. That… Made writing these completely worthwhile. Thank you so much for that, you don't know it, but you've made my entire month!_

"this is really good." - metsfan101

_Thanks!_

"i lub dis collection

hope to see more" – cleyon

_I'll try to get something else up soon!_

"I have been reading these stories for a while and I must tell you that these are the most wonderful, deep, intense and amazing one-shots I ever read…" - Loreto W

_Sorry for cutting off all of your review, but it was very long. Thank you for that. It is the nicest thing anyone has said about my stories. I hope that I don't disappoint with any of my stories to come._

**Suggestions for Stories**

**(An Eye For An Eye) **Ichigo witnesses his mother's murder and refuses to speak. Grimmjow lost his entire family as a child, creating an aversion to strangers. His mental and emotional damage created a void that he attempts to fill by cutting and taking drugs. He refuses help, thinking everyone is shallow and insincere. When he saves Ichigo from further trauma, Ichigo decides to take up the mantle of Grimmjow's savior. – suggested by IILesGeMeAuxII

Progress: Complete!


	2. 1,0 Just Needed a Friend

There's a problem with today's youth. They hate themselves and everyone around them. This hate leads to ugly things. Suicide, drugs, drinking, the list never ends. When there's another kid that's different, they get harassed.

And that's exactly was Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was: harassed. It wasn't his fault he had baby blue hair and matching eyes. He compulsively worked out to compensate. He realized that he found pleasure in the same gender. He dated as many girls as he could to compensate.

But it got tiring, so he came out of the closet. And from that day on he had no friends. He would fight and win most of the times but that didn't stop the vicious comments.

"_I heard that his father was a pedophile."_

"_He only has blue hair because his mother was a drugged out junkie."_

"_He deserves it, he's so weird."_

"_He only likes guys because he's afraid of girls."_

So he found ways to relieve stress. Fighting, drinking, drugs, he tried it all. He even tried cutting but it only stressed him out more so he stopped. He wished that something would happen so that he'd be put in the background again. Maybe a missile would fall on the school. That's kill the rumors, right?

Except nothing short of a missile could stop the rumors. He couldn't change schools because there was only one in Karakura. He'd move but he didn't have the money for it. His parents died when he was young and he was only living off the money they left him as it was.

So he listened to what the other teenagers were saying and looked at himself. He really had nothing to live for. No family, no friend. No real future either if the teachers were to be believed, so why not?

He found his favorite drug dealer and paid extra on his latest purchase for some extra info. That night be bought a gun and began planning. He went home and got as high as possible and chased the pills down with alcohol. He was disappointed when he didn't die, but that's life.

Besides, he needed to be alive for one more thing.

The alarm clock the next morning blared and Grimmjow groaned as he slapped it to turn it off. He sat up and looked around. Everything looked so normal.

_Today's the day._

He threw his toned legs over the side of the bed and stood, yawning. He blearily realized that he was naked and he was still smashed after last night. Oh well, it shouldn't impair him much.

He grabbed a quick shower and dressed in his trashiest clothes. He wanted to be classified as a stereotype after today. Just another drugged up, psychotic teen.

He approached the dresser with unease, having second thoughts. He swallowed them down and resolved to show no mercy to the kids that made his life hell. It was only fair. He withdrew the pistol and shoved it in the back of his belt, covering it with his shirt.

He didn't bother grabbing his book bag. He looked around for anything else but didn't see anything. Really, he only owned a book bag, a clock and a few frozen meals in the fridge. All the furniture was the land lord's.

The walk was quick, brisk. He did his best not to think about the cold metal that refused to warm pressing into his back.

He stood across the street from the high school, looking at it for what he hoped was the last time. He was early so he leaned against the building and lit up a cigarette, unheeding of the whispers of anyone that passed.

"Wanna share?" a voice perked up from some where to his right. Grimmjow's blue eyes slid over to see a vivid teen that he didn't recognize. "I can't smoke at 'ome 'nymore."

The teen had orange hair and bright brown eyes. They looked at him without judgment.

"Your hair's on fire," he murmured under his breath. When the kid cocked an eyebrow, he blushed and scolded himself.

_You must have lost your wits._

"Sure," he answered, louder. He handed the cancer stick over and watched as the boy took expert puffs on it before handing it back.

"Thanks, man. Ya go there?" the teen gestured to the building across the street. At Grimmjow's nod, he grunted, "Just transferred in. First day. Exciting."

Grimmjow snorted and offered the cigarette to his companion. He forgot about the solid metal killer pressed into his back, choosing to instead focus on the fiery orange mane on the other boy.

"'s natural," he muttered. Seeing the confused look, he said it louder. "Muh hair. It's natural."

"Mine too."

"Wicked."

"_Bet you anything they're gonna end up overdosing together or something, stupid fags."_

Grimmjow didn't even blink as he was blatantly insulted. The other just tossed his fiery hair and chuckled.

"You gay?" he asked, handing back the cigarette.

"Yeah." He expected the kid to scoff and insult him before running off to find a woman to fuck.

"Dunno how ya do it," he shook his head. "Girls're _nice_. Then again… So'r guys… 'm bi."

"Don't tell anyone, they're all homophobic," Grimmjow scoffed.

The other teen raised his eyebrow again and glanced over to the school. Most of the kids were hanging around outside and it was pretty obvious they were staring at the duo.

"This 's muh problem," he sighed tragically. "'m just a lil' shit disturber."

He turned to the blue-haired man and ripped the cigarette out of his hand, throwing it to the ground. Before Grimmjow could miss it, he replaced it with his tongue.

When they broke apart, the orange-haired teen was grinning, "I'm Ichigo. No jokes."

"I'm Grimmjow. None to give ya, Ichigo," Grimmjow laughed, surprised.

"Great. Now that I've horrified and shocked all of those delicate homophobic sensibilities of theirs, my day is complete. Wanna go someplace?" Ichigo asked with a smirk.

Grimmjow's face echoed his. "Hell yes."


	3. 2,0 My Brother's Keeper

My Brother's Keeper

_An account of Shiro Kurosaki on his relationship with his older brother and how he finally learned to let go._

My name is Shiro Kurosaki. It's a bit of a cruel pun, but I love it all the same. It means second son, which is fitting, but it also describes me perfectly. I am white. All white. There is a word for this affliction: albino. My eyes are weird though, marking me as disfigured. They are all black with two poisonous rings of gold.

To know me, you must know that I am the second son, born only fifteen minutes after the first son. My twin. He is blessed with a perfectly normal looking body (except for his hair – it's orange for God's sakes). The only obvious disfiguration is the wheelchair he sometimes uses if his crutches aren't doing the job. He can't walk, never has been able to. He's also autistic. Severely autistic. His name is Ichigo Kurosaki, meaning the one who protects. I love him with all of my badly stunted heart.

I am the little brother, he's the one with the strong name but I usually am the one protecting him. People our age can be difficult at best. Ichigo really only has two friends: Tatsuki and me.

People think that because he's autistic, he's slow and stupid. Just because he can't deal with people and because he can't walk and doesn't talk doesn't mean he's stupid. I watch him all the time and I swear he's the smarter one. One time I sat him in front of my advanced calculus book to distract him while I did something else – came back to find my homework for the next week finished.

He's so smart, my brother. He's fluent in Japanese as well as English, I think. He never speaks. The doctors say he just never learned how. But he reads a lot.

When people look at him, they look at his averted face, his self-conscious posture, the crutches or wheelchair he has nearby always but they never understand. They see a freak that they don't understand so they mock him. I always get into fights defending him. I stopped though, because one day I beat up a guy that had been mimicking the awkward way Ichigo moved and got sent home. He came back like he always did except without me. He unhappily showed me a note that had been shoved at him in class.

I won't repeat what it said but it was… really degrading. I apologized to Ichigo all night that night for leaving him there. It was then that I realized Ichigo really understood what was being said about him. He didn't get why, but he knew he was being mocked, that the others didn't like him.

He hates that I stand up for him, but he can't do it himself. He hates that our mother killed herself after giving birth to our little sisters. She looked at the two perfect angels she produced and then at the freaks her first pregnancy had brought and that night she killed herself. Dad always told us she felt guilty that we weren't like all the other kids and she thought she had done something wrong.

After Dad told us that, Ichigo got up and hobbled away on his crutches. He loved our mom the most and that selfish bitch had to tear herself away from him and make his condition worse.

I love my brother to bits. I love him to the moon and back five times. I tell him this every morning and he hugs me. He never hugs anyone else. With Ichigo, you have to get good at reading body language. He loves me too.

I love him so much and one day I realized that didn't mean I had to sacrifice my entire life to following him around and intimidating anyone that looked at him wrong.

I had gotten to school late and school was just about to start. Ichigo was tucked away in our usual spot, a corner from where the grand staircase met the stone wall of the school. What really got my attention was the hulking mass of muscle towering over him in the wheelchair he had to use for the day because his legs were worse than usual.

While I stormed over to kick some ass, Ichigo fluttered his hands in his lap. It was his way of encouraging someone to speak. I glanced at Ichigo and looked closely and I almost died at the look on his face. His eyes were still, focused somewhere over the shoulder of the man and he seemed to be smiling.

I continue to storm over and when I get there, I ask with all the biting anger I could muster, "Can I help you?"

The guy turns to me and I size him up immediately. He has blue hair and blue eyes (I have no room to comment on the strange coloring). He had a pen cap trapped between two lips, gnawing at it absently. I tried to place him but couldn't. I have a pretty narrow sight when at school. There are only three things I register: lessons, Ichigo, and people that bother Ichigo.

"Uh, no. Sorry for monopolizing your brother. Just thought I'd say hi," the guy mumbled looking at me briefly and back to Ichigo.

Then I finally placed him. Not his name, just his face. He was a senior too and he had a lot of the same classes that I did. I sized him up again and ordered him to wait there while I walked Ichigo to his first class of the day.

"Uh, no. I'll wait in the lunchroom," he negotiated. "I don't want to be out here any longer, it's a little chilly."

I nodded and Ichigo and I were off. I helped him wheel himself up the handicap ramp and into the elevator. His first class was art and he seemed in a pretty good mood for it. Just before I left, he took off his jacket and offered it to me, still looking at the ground.

"I'm not going back out," I said in confusion. He still offered it to me and I realized it wasn't his. It was _way_ too big. I thought back and realized he hadn't taken a jacket before leaving. So it had to be the blue-haired guys'. I took it. "It's his, right? I'll get it to him."

Ichigo's mouth twitched into a smile and he went in the room. I waved to his teacher, Yoruichi Shihoin. She had a soft spot for Ichigo and I knew he was safe with her. She kept _everyone_in check.

So I went back downstairs to the cafeteria, thankful I didn't have any morning classes. It seemed the other guy didn't either. Either that or he was just really comfortable with skipping. I didn't care really.

"So what do you want with Ichigo?" I snapped, sitting across from him. He sighed.

"I just wanted to talk with him, I promise," he told me. "I've seen him around a lot and… Shit. I'm not going to lie. I like him. We have Tech class together and he's a really nice partner to have. And, um. I'd like to become friends with him." He coughed. "Or more."

"He's fucking autistic," I snarled at him.

"So I shouldn't think of him as a person?" he snarled back. "I just want to hang out with him and he likes me well enough. I make him smile a lot, anyway. He's just… not good with people. He isn't an invalid. Someday you'll have to let someone else take care of him. He has a heart in there, he could fall in love."

"And what, you think he's in love with you?" I replied scathingly. I will never forget what his response was.

He looked me dead in the eye and told me, "No, but I love him."

After that there wasn't a day I didn't see him. He started coming over the house to hang out with Ichigo and eventually I got used to him. Ichigo started getting better with his autism. He actually started getting out of his shell and Grimmjow was there for every step.

The biggest breakthrough happened when I wasn't even looking. One day I get home from the local University (Ichigo didn't have classes that day and neither did Grimmjow) and they're waiting for me at the table. I immediately assume the worst but I don't freak out immediately.

"Hey there," Grimmjow smirks up at me. "We have an early Christmas present for you."

Ichigo fidgeted in his seat and looked up at me and made the effort to look me in the eye. He took a deep breath and carefully said, "Welcome home, Shiro-nii."

I cried. I am not afraid to admit it.

And that's how I finally gave Ichigo up to the blue-haired terror with all the patience in the world. The man that would coach Ichigo in human behaviors, that would teach Ichigo to talk and later propose to him.

Right now, I have a girlfriend. She's not model beautiful but she's not ugly by any means. She has a great heart thought and she loves Ichigo even if she doesn't really understand him.

Last week I threw a party for Ichigo and Grimm's first anniversary. He's comfortable enough to confide in me that he recently got rather intimate with Ichigo. Not all the way because Ichigo isn't ready, but the small things that Ichigo understood well.

Grimm confessed he only gets by with a lot of hot showers by himself. I'm not exactly thrilled with knowing this but I'm happy Ichigo isn't being pressured.

Ichigo is my big brother, the one who protects, the autistic man who is graduating with a degree in the sciences who fell in love with a man with blue hair. He is my brother, my twin, and I love him. But I do not have to watch him constantly. I can love him just as much by stepping back and letting him live.


	4. 3,0 An Eye for an Eye

My earliest memory is flashing lights and screaming. It isn't the memory that damned me, but the one that keeps me alive. The ambulance rushed to my house and took away my mother. I remember asking my father what was wrong, why mommy was leaving.

He got down on my level and held my shoulders. "Your baby sisters and going to be born tonight."

We went to the hospital and nurses watched me while my dad went in to help with the birth. That night I met my two baby sisters and I swore to live my life for them. Even at that age, I was taking life too seriously.

My second memory is when I was… I think it was when I was seven, maybe eight. I don't know for certain because I prefer to not think about it.

I was walking home with my mother. I was late getting out of martial arts so we took a shortcut. There was no one around when they ambushed us and left my mother's dead, desecrated body lying on mine.

My name is Kurosaki Ichigo and I haven't spoken since the day I watched my mother killed and raped.

-o-o-

My earliest memory is singing. My mom used to sing to me all the time and my dad would just laugh and grab a beer. He wasn't an alcoholic or anything; he just had a tradition of drinking one with dinner.

My sister was there, I think. Her name was Harribel and she was a lot older than I was. I'm about the age she must have been then.

My various cousins were there, so I think it was a family event. It was fun, it was happy. I remember playing all kinds of games with Harribel and my cousin Stark. It didn't matter that they were both much older, they treated me like I understood and I loved them.

My next memory is walking home with a friend. I think his name began with a U. I just know I haven't seen him since that day.

I bid him farewell and entered my house. It was dark and I was happy because it was my birthday. I guess I just figured it was a surprise party. I found the light switch and flipped it.

My name is Jeagerjaques Grimmjow and I've been drinking and doing drugs since I came home to find my family slaughtered in my living room, heaped together in a perverted embrace.

-o-o-

The two knew eachother, of course. Broken souls seem to always have a sense of the presence of another. They never acknowledged it because they had their own problems. They didn't need the others'.

Ichigo was walking home with Tatsuki, his best friend. She rambled on about her other best friend, Inoue Orihime. He began to think she had the idea of setting them up but he didn't do anything to disrupt the conversation.

Tatsuki had always been good to him, even after he shut everyone else out. She just figuratively and sometimes literally jammed her foot in the door way so he couldn't close her out of his life. She was a goddess, really.

"Ahem. And uh, I'm pretty sure you know what tomorrow is…" she trailed off awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head. Ichigo blinked and thought before coming to a conclusion: a school dance. He nodded and Tatsuki began fiddling with her collar.

"Same deal as last year, then?" she asked, almost nervously. "I mean, I'm okay with skipping. It's not like I'm going there for a reason or anything."

Ichigo settled for an indulgent smile at his friend, showing he wasn't fooled. She scoffed and threw a punch that he deftly avoided. "Okay, so Orihime's gonna be there and I don't want her to be alone with a sleaze like him!"

Ichigo cocked his brow to indicate his interest.

"Ishida Uryu," she answered, not needing any more prodding than that. "So you'll go with me? As friends of course."

Ichigo smiled and shook his head in affirmation.

They stopped at Tatsuki's home and she grinned bashfully before running in, not bothering to say her goodbyes. Ichigo smiled and continued on his way.

He blinked tawny brown eyes as he surveyed the street he was walking on with the sort of gravity one would never expect from a male teenager. He had a shock of orange hair on his head that many took as a sign he was just a typical delinquent. If only they knew, he thought wryly. As loud as his appearance might be (especially with his love for bright colors) he'd never be a loud mouthed idiot, if only because he could not, would not speak.

He returned home safely and tucked his schoolwork away safely before changing his clothes and moving to the living room. His father was already there and so was Karin. Judging by the sounds, Yuzu was in the kitchen, making them dinner.

"Hey, Ichigo," Isshin greeted, flipping channels. He looked at his son carefully. "How was school?"

He shrugged to let the man know that it was the same, usual, boring routine. He sat next to his father and tried to get into the program he had turned on. They stayed like this until Yuzu bustled in, smiling.

"Hello, Ichi-ni!" she greeted. "Dinner is ready!"

"Good girl, Yuzu!" Isshin praised and his daughter beamed. Ichigo smiled at her as well while Karin remained impassive. They moved to the dinner table and dug in.

Yuzu and Isshin chattered and Karin grunted out a few responses when prodded. Yuzu even retrieved a miniature white-board so that Ichigo could write out a quick summary of his day.

Ichigo thoughts things were going pretty well actually. He felt really good for once. When they were finishing up, Isshin called to his children, "Today is surprise family movie night!" and Ichigo was all for it, for once.

He nodded and Yuzu smiled but Karin's face deepened into a frown and she stood abruptly, slamming her hands on the table.

"What are you doing, father?" she spat venomously. The Kurosaki family looked shocked and it only fueled her anger. "Why do you insist on acting like everything is okay? Look at us! You're a _child_ that refuses to grow up, Mom's dead and Yuzu's acting like a miniature mother for me and Ichigo. Oh, and don't get me started on him! He's messed up so bad that I honest expect him to go out of control any minute!"

Ichigo recoiled in shock and Yuzu yelled out, "Karin-chan!"

Isshin's face became impassive and Karin just sneered at him. He shook his head slowly and sighed. "Karin, you are not to disrespect your mother like this. She has passed away but I'm sure she still wants you to mind your father. And stop taking your frustrations out on your siblings. They are doing the best they can to cope.

"Now, go to your room and don't let me hear from you until you are ready to apologize to us all."

Karin sneered at them all and walked out stiffly. They sat in silence until Ichigo stood up abruptly and walked away, ignoring his sister and father when they called out to him. He jammed his feet in his sneakers and was out the door before they could stop him.

He didn't run – that would only get the cops called considering the general prejudice of the public – but he briskly walked away from his only home. He didn't have a goal in mind. He just knew he had to get away from the house.

He _wasn__'__t_ messed up, he knew. He might be mute but that didn't mean he wasn't the same. He still had dreams and hopes for the future, he just couldn't dislodge his voice to tell people them. He wasn't messed up. If he was messed up he'd be doing bad things instead of spending every day dreaming of paradise.

So caught up in his musing, he was startled to find himself in the spot where he watched his mother… His breathing sped up and he was pretty sure he was having a panic attack. He knew he had to get away but his feet wouldn't move.

Oh god, oh god, _oh__fucking__god-_ Ichigo was propelled out of his panicking by a force barreling into his side, knocking him and the other person to the ground. He only saw blue and heard cursing before he was being hauled up and dragged into a dead run.

He let go of the man's hand quickly and ran on his own, running from the past. Judging by the shouts, Grimmjow ran from the police. To each his own.

They ran through the sleepy town for god knows how long and Ichigo felt good. He was tired and out of breath, but he felt good. He wondered if he should take more crazy runs to keep him healthy.

When Grimmjow finally slowed to a stop, he looked at Ichigo in disbelief. He looked like he wanted to comment but couldn't until he regained his breath. When he did, he looked away and grabbed a something from his pockets and swallowed it before facing the orange haired teen.

"You could have just run off," he grunted. "You didn't have to follow me."

Ichigo just shrugged.

"Say something, stupid," he growled.

Ichigo pointed to his throat and shook his head. Grimmjow's brow furrowed before he realized what he was being told.

"You won't talk?"

Ichigo shook his head.

"You can't talk."

It wasn't a question but Ichigo nodded anyway. Grimmjow grunted and shivered. "Whatever, just get home. See you 'round."

Ichigo stood there and watched Grimmjow walk away. When he was out of sight, Ichigo slowly made his way home, contemplating what he was going to do about Karin. He wasn't upset like he was earlier so he could think a lot clearer.

When he walked in, Yuzu and Isshin charged out of the living room to greet him with relieved shouts and hugs. He wriggled out of their embraces and retrieved his board and wrote, "Is Karin still awake?"

They nodded in confusion and watched as he walked upstairs. Out of their site, he knocked on the girl's door and when he didn't receive a reaction, he just opened the door and walked in. Karin glared up at him.

He sat on Yuzu's bed and wrote "Hey, Karin."

She just glared.

He erased it and tried again, "Do you remember my voice?"

She looked less hostile and more confused. She shook her head.

He erased and wrote: "I'm sorry."

"For what?" she bit out.

"That you feel so neglected. Can you try to imagine what my voice is like?"

"I'm not…" she sighed and relented. "Yes."

"Then image that voice of mine telling you I love you."

Karin scowled and looked away.

Ichigo erased the message and took one of Yuzu's markers and wrote on a scrap piece of paper, "I LOVE YOU KARIN."

He tucked it away in her hand and hugged her before retreating with his white-board. Using the board, he told his father and sister good night and returned upstairs. While passing by, he heard crying from the girl's room.

That night he didn't dream.

-o-o-

Tatsuki came over after school to help Ichigo dress up for the dance. He'd take whatever she handed him and model it for her until she settled on a white long sleeved, dress shirt and some dark grey jeans. It wasn't exactly formal but it was comfortable and that's all Ichigo really cared about.

When it got closer to when they were supposed to leave, they went to Tatsuki's house so she could put on her dress. Seeing his amused look, she snapped, "It's a dance! Girls are supposed to wear dressed for dances! Boys can get away with anything!"

Ichigo grinned and texted her, saying, "So go in jeans and a T-shirt. Make a statement."

"No thanks," she scoffed when she read the message. "Anyway, it's time to go! Orihime might already be there!"

She dragged him down the stairs, calling out goodbyes to her brothers. Ichigo just waved as they passed. He knew that they wouldn't misconstrue their sister going with Ichigo to a dance as anything romantic.

After all, he was pretty sure he was only interested in the same gender… Not that anyone knew that.

The dance was awkward when they got there to say the least. Not that it was awkward for them, but it seemed like all the guys were clustered together and all the girls were the same. It was like being in kindergarten all over again, Ichigo thought.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes at the mass of people and dragged Ichigo to the bowl of punch on the table, serving both of them. Neither was concerned they would be thought to be a couple because everyone already knew that they were just friends. Not to mention, there was a rumor floating around that Tatsuki was a lesbian.

Ichigo took his offered cup and retreated to a table in the corner to watch the crowd. Tatsuki went off to search for her slightly ditzy friend and her date. Ichigo didn't envy them in the least.

No one paid him any attention. They acted as if he didn't exist most of time. It wasn't hurtful, they'd be nice enough if he approached them with a message written down, but he knew he made them uncomfortable.

After all, he wasn't normal in the least and they could sense it, even if they weren't aware of it consciously.

He sighed and took a long drink of the punch and made a face. It was nasty so he inconspicuously watered the fake plants. The cup was rolled away so he didn't have to venture to find a trash can and he didn't have to take the blame. Lazy move, but he was just here for Tatsuki.

He was tapped on the shoulder and he jumped, not expecting it. He looked up… and man, did he have a long way to look! This man couldn't even be less than seven feet!

"Care to dance?" the man asked, leering down with a creepy smirk. Ichigo blushed and remembered Tatsuki made him promise to be nice to anyone that wanted to dance because she wanted to see him with a nice partner.

Still blushing, he shyly nodded. He could dance. Not extremely well, but well enough. As the man pulled him into a hold and awkwardly moved with him, he realized he could out-dance him in this, but he didn't try to take the lead.

"Name's Nnoitra," he grunted out. "I'm from another school but I'm here with a girl who left a while ago to find her old friend or something like that. I saw you and decided I could take advantage of these situations."

Ichigo smiled a little and the blush faded from his cheeks.

"Come on, at least tell me if such a beautiful man is angry with me," he teased and Ichigo's blush returned.

He shook his head and pointed to his throat. The man caught on.

"Lost your voice? You sick?"

He shook his head.

"Oh, just can't talk?"

A nod.

"That's cool."

The song ended and Ichigo stepped back to look up at Nnoitra and smile. He bowed his head to show his thanks.

"Okay, you get back to your table. Gotta go find Nel. You see her you let me know… Somehow."

Ichigo took out his phone and offered it to him. Nnoitra beamed and put his number in. "Okay, so she has green hair and a giant rack. Just lemme know if you see anything like that."

He departed with a cheery wave. Ichigo smiled and returned to his table. Tatsuki was already there with an orange haired girl and a dark haired male.

"So, dancing with a gangster," Tatsuki glared. Ichigo must have shown his surprise and Tatsuki's glare softened. She motioned to the empty chair and he took it gratefully. "He's bad news."

Ichigo pulled out a pen and wrote on a napkin, "Didn't know." Tatsuki read it and scoffed. "Obviously. But Ichigo, he's a guy…"

"And…?" Ichigo wrote.

"You're gay?" Tatsuki whispered. Uryu suddenly looked a little uncomfortable.

Ichigo nodded and wrote, "Didn't know it was a secret. Thought you had already guessed."

"Well, no, I didn't. Thanks for making me feel stupid though," she grumbled. "Anyway, this is Orihime and Uryu."

Ichigo nodded to each of them. Uryu nodded and Orihime beamed and said a breathless, "Nice to meet you."

"So," Tatsuki began. "Now that I know you're gay, can I start setting you up on blind dates?"

Ichigo glared at her and mouthed the word "No."

"Aww, you're no fun!" Orihime giggled. "Oh, Uryu, would you like to dance? I love this song!"

"Of course, Orihime," he answered and took her hand to lead her to the dance floor. By now other couples had worked up the boldness to dance.

"So?" Ichigo wrote and shoved it at Tatsuki.

"So nothing," she grumbled. "He's okay. A bit of a prude, but that's good. They're good together."

Ichigo didn't have anything to respond to that with so he just nodded and looked out at all the dancers. He saw a flash of pale green and looked curiously to see a rather well-endowed woman walking onto the patio of the gymnasium. Ichigo took out his phone and texted Nnoitra.

"Awesome, thanks!" he responded almost instantly. Ichigo smiled at it and Tatsuki raised her eye brow at it. He didn't feel like explaining so he just stuck his tongue out at her. She retaliated and they both grinned at eachother.

The dance was pretty uneventful until about ten. Someone started to hit on Orihime and Uryu wasn't having any of it. A fight ensued (that he won, surprisingly) and Uryu and the other male were escorted away by the security. Tatsuki made her good byes to Ichigo and took Orihime home.

That made Ichigo nervous, but Tatsuki was already marching through the crowd and he couldn't unclog his voice to yell after them. He was scared for them, two women alone at such a time at night. He didn't hesitate and began pushing his way through the crowd.

He made it outside and looked around for the two but couldn't see them. He started out in the direction they probably went but was stopped before he got too far.

Someone from the alley he was running past grabbed him and pulled him back into the darkness. He flailed backwards in surprise but his arm was only grabbed and swiftly dislocated. He would have screamed if he could.

He recognized the three men around him as upperclassmen from his highs school. They probably knew he couldn't scream for help. Desperately he wished he hadn't quit his martial arts lessons so young.

The pain incapacitated him. He pressed his back to the wall but it did not good. The men were already there, pulling at him and forcing him down. He was confused but it wore off quickly. He knew what was coming from watching his mother-

Another panic attack was coming. He just knew it and it made him helpless to the men ripping at his pants. He couldn't even find the energy to kick at them in his oxygen starved brain.

"What the hell are you doing?" a voice barked out, sounding angry. Ichigo couldn't look to see who it was as he was too busy struggling to breathe. His mind warped his savior into just another rapist that would join the other three in…

But no, even with his rapidly darkening vision, he saw the newcomer began laying into the three, throwing punches with deadly accuracy until they were all unconscious and on the ground.

He stalked over and Ichigo could just barely make out the face he had just seen last night. The man carefully helped him up and Ichigo gasped for breath.

"You asthmatic or something?" he grunted. Ichigo shook his head and began to shake Grimmjow recognized the symptoms from his own troubled past. "Panic attack?" he guessed and was rewarded with a nod.

He supported the smaller male as they left the alley. He directed them to an all-night café place. When they were in there, Grimmjow sat him down and straightened him up. Ichigo began breathing a little easier, so the other decided he was well enough to leave. He ordered two teas and took them back to the table.

Ichigo had mostly calmed down by this point. Grimmjow silently handed him his tea and began sipping at his own. Despite the time of night, there were still many patrons so they didn't get as many looks as they might have and for that Grimmjow was thankful.

"You okay?" he asked Ichigo, noticing the trembling had not stopped. He looked up at him with slightly wet eyes and then back to the tea he was bought. He sipped at him and didn't show any other signs of life.

"I know sign language, okay? Can you talk to me like that?" he snapped.

Ichigo shook his head and patted his pockets, pleased to find his cell phone still there. He typed out a message and showed it to Grimmjow.

"I never bothered to learn."

"Fine then," he grumbled and handed the phone back after putting in his number. "Use the phone to tell me if you're okay. I put in my number, just send me the message."

Ichigo took the phone and tapped out another message. Grimmjow's phone beeped once and he checked it.

"Just a little in shock. Concerned about my friends, they took off before me."

"I'm sure they'll be okay. You're talking about those two chicks, right?" he asked and received a nod. "Then yeah, they'll be fine. That short one's really fierce, I hear."

Ichigo smiled a bit and nodded. He sipped more of his cooling tea and sent Grimmjow another message.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Orange," he rumbled. "But I gotta ask for a name now."

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

"As in the Kurosaki clinic?" he asked. "I used to go there as a kid. Real nice lady there. Your mom?"

"She's gone now."

"Sorry to hear," Grimmjow said in disappointment as he read the message. "Really. She was one of the nicest people I knew. She helped me through some hard times."

Ichigo smiled; that certainly sounded like his mother. He sent another message, saying, "She'd be happy to see you doing so well."

For some reason, he frowned at that and fidgeted. "I think she'd be ashamed," he confessed and pushed his sleeve up to show the track marks littering his inner elbow. "Tonight's the first time I've been sober in awhile."

"I think she'd be ashamed of me too," he messaged. Before Grimmjow could ask, he got another one saying, "I don't talk and I've become really weak. I think she'd be ashamed of me."

"Why don't you talk?" Grimmjow finally asked and Ichigo smiled sadly before sending the next message.

"I got to watch my mother be killed and raped. I think that if I ever find it in me to speak again, all I'd do is scream."

Grimmjow read this and went white. He put his phone down and rubbed his face, trying to make himself braver for what he was going to confess.

"My whole family is dead. They were killed while I was in school. It was my birthday," he said, removing his hands from his face. "Every time I sober up, I get depressed. But every once in a while, I do it, no matter how much it hurts."

Grimmjow stood up abruptly and reached for Ichigo's hand. "Come on, let's fix you."

Ichigo didn't hesitate before grabbing Grimmjow's hand and allowing himself to be pulled out of the café. They ran and once again, Ichigo didn't care where they were going.

They stopped at a train station and Grimmjow bought two tickets to somewhere near the coast. The conductor gave them strange looks at their lack of baggage, but let them on. They rode through the night and it was early when they jumped off the stationed train. Grimmjow started running and Ichigo faithfully followed.

They ran through the sleepy town to the cliffs of the outskirts. From this vantage point, they could see the ocean and they watched at the sun got close to breaking the horizon.

"This is where I come when I sober up," Grimmjow said, looking at Ichigo intensely. Ichigo looked back with as much gravity as the other. "I used to live in that town back there. This is my good spot. I don't hurt here and you shouldn't either.

"Scream, Ichigo."

Ichigo didn't say anything, just watched at the sun burst over the horizon. He watched for a time and then retrieved a stick and wrote on the ground, "What hurts you?"

"All those liars out there," Grimmjow said after reading it. "They all say they're my friends, they're my family, that they love me. They're shallow and I hate them."

Grimmjow found himself agitated at the look Ichigo was giving him and was starting to regret bringing him out here. He growled and turned away to go back to town, Ichigo be damned.

Ichigo watched him grow with mounting frustration. He wanted Grimmjow to stay, but didn't know how to make him. He was weak, just as weak as he'd been when the men killed and raped his mother.

He screamed.

-o-o-

Ichigo was tired. His father had just finished yelling at him for not coming home last night. _If__only__he__knew._

Ichigo didn't speak. He hadn't made a sound since he stood on the cliff with Grimmjow. After he screamed, Grimmjow looked at him with so much _regret_ that Ichigo began to cry. The man stayed and took him back to the station when he finished, but Ichigo was silent again. The mourning was done with, but his voice was still stuck.

Probably because Grimmjow stayed in that town. Ichigo couldn't help him while he was that far away. And that was all Ichigo wanted to do: help Grimmjow.

Ichigo just sat in his room for hours. Tatsuki tried to come over to try to talk to him but he just looked at her and she couldn't face it. She had spent years fighting the agony that threatened Ichigo, but this was different. This was something she didn't know.

He looked at the clock and realized that exactly 24 hours ago, he was almost raped and he knew what he had to do. He stood up and filled a small bag with things he needed and snuck out of his room and down the hallway. He pulled his shoes on and had just opened the door when he was interrupted.

"Ichi-ni?" Karin asked from the stairs. Ichigo looked back at her and gave her an almost hopeless smile. "Don't you remember what you wrote to me about? You said you loved me, don't you remember? This isn't love! Scaring me like this isn't love!"

Ichigo took the white-board from the table beside the door and wrote, "Do you remember how I asked if you could remember my voice and you said no? Well, memorize it now."

He waited for her to finish reading it before saying, "I do love you, Karin, but there's someone else out there that needs love too."

Karin looked stunned and Ichigo couldn't blame her. He gave her a smile and left, shutting the door behind him. He ran to the station and was on a train to the coast before any thought of not going to Grimmjow struck him.

The ride was silent and contemplative. When the train stopped, he was off and running so he didn't miss Grimmjow. He ran to the cliffs and wasn't surprised to see Grimmjow there. He was on the phone.

"Nel, I don't care what you say," he spat. "You're lying. You don't care. You're nothing but a shallow bitch."

He hung up and Ichigo strode forward. Grimmjow turned and sneered at the orange-haired man. Ichigo didn't stop until he was close to Grimmjow.

"You need to get over yourself," Ichigo spat, startling Grimmjow. "Quit whining and being an angsty little emo brat. You need to grow up because there _are__people__who__love__you!_"

Grimmjow scoffed. "Yeah right. You don't need to feel guilty; I helped of my own free will. No pity."

"Will you grow up?" Ichigo demanded and grabbed Grimmjow's hand to spin him to face the sun. "Look at that and remember that your family loved you. Your friends now love you. Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow looked at him and Ichigo glared into his blue eye with his own brown before biting out, "And remember, Grimmjow.

"I love you!"

And with that, he smashed their lips together.


End file.
